1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

7 Creepy Video Game Easter Eggs You'll Wish Were Never Found - Part 3

Discussion in 'Games' started by DragonSVD, Oct 29, 2015.

7 Creepy Video Game Easter Eggs You'll Wish Were Never Found - Part 3

Discussion in 'Games' started by DragonSVD, Oct 29, 2015.

  1. DragonSVD

    DragonSVD Professional Target Staff Member Tagged

    The scariest video game moments ever aren't in horror games -- they're in perfectly normal shooters, RPGs, or even children's games whose creators decided to spice things up with some out-of-the-way terror. After all, what's more likely to make you pee your pants: seeing a guy in a werewolf mask inside a haunted house or running into him in your kitchen late at night?

    So, every year around this time, we like to celebrate those "**** your pants" moments tucked away in the corners of your favorite games ...

    #3. Splatoon Has A Secret Not Even The Creator Knew About

    Splatoon, if you're not familiar, is one of the first Nintendo games in about 300 years that doesn't feature Mario, Link, Kirby, Samus, or a Pokemon of any ilk. It's a third-person team shooter game where, instead of killing people with bullets, you play as some squid-children who paint things with colorful squid ink. Unlike most shooters of the modern era, you also don't have to worry about being sworn at loudly by 10 year olds over voice chat (though those 10 year olds will still absolutely destroy you).

    It's a light, fun game full of bright colors and almost unbearably upbeat music. No one dies in Splatoon; you simply get "splatted" and instantly pop back in your base.

    Covered in what you hope is paint.

    Yep, no one dies ... on camera, anyway. If you wait around for a while after defeating bosses in the game's single-player mode, you can hear all sorts of insane screaming and clanging noises. The sounds are distant, but here's a version with the volume turned up:

    What the hell is that? Not even the guy who invented this game knows. When Splatoon's creator/director was shown the Easter egg, he was just as surprised as any of us. He had no idea it was in the game or what it was meant to be, though he speculated that someone else in the staff might have slipped it in while he wasn't looking.

    However, fan theories abound, and the most popular makes a whole lot of sense: The game's antagonists are a race of emo octopi, and the squid-children's mission is to retrieve some energy sources from their world. By stealing the octopi's energy, you might be causing their civilization to crumble and dooming them to die -- hence the "our civilization is crumbling and we're dying"-like noises. So, you know, if you thought Lovecraft was too heady with his undersea, tentacled horror, just take that in instead.

    #2. Old-School Racing Game Were Apparently Made By Serial Killers

    Racing games have always been a good genre for Easter eggs because the developers have to fill all that empty space on the sides of the road with something. The Nintendo 64 game California Speed, for example, is full of billboards and signs you can look at while speeding it up in the state of California (and wishing you had bought Mario Kart instead). Most of the signs are jokes or references to other games -- but there's one billboard you can't see clearly because some asshole planted a bunch of oil pumps right in front of it:

    And because this is a Nintendo 64 game, and the graphics look like ****.

    It just looks like some random polygons, so most people probably won't pay much attention as it whips past in the distance. If you get off the road and slowly inch your way to the sign, however, you'll eventually get close enough to read it ... and then instantly regret stopping your car on what we assume must be the grave of at least 37 motorists.

    "Wonder who put that there, blood-soaked hitchhiker I picked up 30 seconds ago?"

    In the likely case that your reading glasses just cracked as a loud thunderbolt boomed outside your window, the sign says:

    Sometimes ...

    God takes mommies

    and puppies away ...

    And sometimes ...

    Just sometimes ...

    I do

    That's less "fun Easter egg" and more "unpublished Son of Sam letter." This isn't related to the game's story since, again, it's a racing game; there's no ****ing story. And yet, this isn't the only time some bored developer decided to inject some inexplicable terror into a driving simulator. The confusingly-named Formula 1 97 for the original PlayStation had several cheat codes you could use to unlock stuff such as new tracks, new music ... or a Biblical plague, for some reason. If you enter the code "CATS DOGS," you can find out what it's like to try to compete in a race while God lobs hundreds of frogs at your face.

    Or hundreds of oddly-shaped cat and dog turds, maybe.

    To complete the '90s console triumvirate, Sega's Super Monaco GP lets you run over the flagman at the end of each race, which sends him flying into the sky (a great consolation to his wife and children, we're sure). That's not the creepy part, though. If you finish in the top three and press A, B, and C at the same time, in the ensuing ceremony, your racer will be holding his disembodied, smiling head instead of the trophy, perhaps to symbolize that your transformation into a monster is now complete.

    Oh well, it's not like people get decapitated for real in this sport or anything.

    #1. Harvest Moon: You Can Marry A Child-Eating Rape Monster

    Harvest Moon is the game franchise for people who think Pokemon should have less fighting and more farming. You just go around tending to your crops and talking to your neighbors until you ... the word "win" seems ill-fitting here, so let's go with "until you get to see the credits."

    Anyway, the games are all pretty cute and inoffensive, but, occasionally, you'll see strange green creatures with George Costanza haircuts lurking around your town. Here's the one from the WiiHarvest Moon, which never interacts with you -- it just watches from afar.

    "Sorry, I'm socially awkward. And masturbating."

    Well, those things are actually Kappas: mythical Japanese water demons who kill children and rape women. Whenever a child disappeared or a woman became mysteriously pregnant in ancient Japan, it was attributed to a Kappa (probably by the shadiest and/or most handsome guy in the village).

    They also have a fascination with cucumbers, which is somehow the creepiest part.

    In most Harvest Moon games, the Kappas only make a small cameo (innocent stuff, such as flashing in your mirror for a fraction of a second at exactly 12 a.m.), but the Game Boy Advance edition takes your relationship with it a little further. OK, a lot further:

    The Kappa is a half-second man.

    By following a specific series of events that take at least five in-game years, you can marry the game's hidden Kappa. It doesn't live with you, though: it only appears in weird visions when you go to bed. However, when it says "You, pregnant," you really do get pregnant -- a doctor confirms it. Then, it shows up again nine months later, and, with its characteristic tact, it says: "Baby, born. Name her."

    Note that you get to type your child's name, so you can go with "WTFFFFFFF."

    Aaaand that's how this cartoon farming simulator allows you to start a family with a magical rapist. We're surprised FarmVille didn't rip off this feature, too. But, hey, on the upside, at least you know your new husband will never gorge on those potatoes that took you so long to grow! (Get it? Because he eats babies. Haha.)

    ORIGINAL ARTICLE ----->>>>> http://www.cracked.com/article_23192_7-video-games-with-hidden-creepy-easter-eggs.html